Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
she pinky promised me she was 18
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
