do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
