Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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