I think I just saw someone hide a body.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
