doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Just pee around me
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
