Cold hands, warm shart.
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
