i permit you to call me
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
