people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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