my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
