dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
