How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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