I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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