just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
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