the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
