it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
