I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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