I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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