There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I want to be your penis for a week.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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