So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
