we have officially lost it.
Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
