There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
