I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
