Just fell off a train. Bad.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
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