I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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