Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
