So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize