he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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