Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
there is puke in my bra ... again
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
