Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
