Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
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