I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
