no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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