nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
