you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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