Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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