just come out here and I will go home with you...
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
