is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Randomize
