Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
i just had sex bonerless
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Life is so much better after having sex.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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