Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
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