I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
