please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
