member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Shame is for Republicans.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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