if you like me you must not know who I am
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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