i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
