If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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