I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I believe in your delicious
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize