he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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