What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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