my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Found the puke drawer
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize