My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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