She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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