I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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