my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
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