he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
