yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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