I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
