he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
