can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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