very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
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